Tough Skin

When I was a little girl my two older brothers teased me mercilessly.  In my memory my mom often ignored us.  I don't recall her jumping in to shield me from their comments.  I write "in my memory" in defense to my mom.  This may or may not be true as my recall on the specifics of my childhood  are definitely not 100% accurate.  I also think I might have been  a giant cry baby.  If my brothers made even an absurd comment, I cried.  I don't blame my mom for ignoring us.  We were children, we were ridiculous and we were learning and growing! 

When I think back on these experiences I wonder about the  benefits of the independence I was given in these moments.  As we move through life people say comments to us throughout our day that we may or may not agree with.   Processing, reflecting, ignoring all we hear in a day effects our temperament and our mental health.    When children draw a picture and they show it to me my typical response it to comment on the details of their work with positivity.    Typically I would not say, "I wonder what would have happened if you used different colors?"  Sometimes I go in a class and a child will quickly scribble so as to give me a drawing before I leave.  I have recently started to say, " I noticed you felt rushed in your work I wonder what you could create if you did this work and took your time.  Would you like to try that, I can come back later and see what you were able to draw?"  These kind of comments could allow children to have different reflection on their work n addition to being an opportunity for growth and reflection.  In our Early Childhood Center we place great care and focus on our positive language.  Are we uncomfortable to utter a sentence of constructive criticism and are we doing justice to our children?  Might their be a benefit to mixing it up?  Can children learn to hear the comment and reflect and grow as we do as adults?  

Yesterday in a staff meeting we pondered the use of the words "Kind hands" vs "No hitting." As with everything this word choice probably depends on many factors including the age and the personality of the child.  As we study philosophies, ideas and theories we can benefit from taking a little bit from each. As we encourage children daily in their activities and we continue to wrap them in our love filled with positive messages might it benefit the child if we also challenge them in a variety of comments.  Hearing statements of positivity with statements of constructive criticism can be beneficial to their ability to reflect and grow.