Telling the truth

I remember many years age the exact moment my oldest son asked me how I became pregnant with my second son.  He wanted to know, "How do you get that baby in your tummy?" I had a moment of "Uh Oh!" and then I told him a simple version of the truth, in terms he could understand.

Children ask many questions that we consider sensitive and many of us may hesitate to give them a truthful answer.  Our discomfort with certain topics often causes us to remain silent or brush over the topic. The result is that we remain comfortable, but they remain uninformed. Many of us will say babies come when two people love each other very much.  Is that the truth?  Well, we sure hope so!  But children can also understand a simple version of the biology as well.

Yesterday in school a boy student told a girl student she could not marry her best friend because her best friend was a girl, and he said, "Girls marry boys, and boys marry girls."  Now in this case the child made a statement.  The children weren't asking any of the adults in the room - this was a conversation between students. 

Should an adult hearing this conversation step in with a comment?  In this example, or others with similar “sensitive” content … do we chime in, or remain silent?  What if the conversation had been the reverse?  What if a girl student told a boy she was going to marry him and he said no girls only marry girls.  Then would we comment? Why the difference, and how much is our own set of opinions influencing our decisions?  Add to this the fact that many Teachers feel that the right to discuss sensitive topics belongs first to the parents, and you can see that “to speak or not to speak” is frequently on your mind when you work among children.

Discussions among our staff on these issues are very important. We have to address our own fears and discomfort about discussing sensitive topics and be extremely mindful of the specific language we use.  At the same time, keeping in mind that if we don't state truthful facts about subjects we deem sensitive, we risk perpetuating a sense of shame or discomfort around these same topics.   If they are ready to ask a question, we should be ready with a truthful, age-appropriate answer.

The funny thing about children is they are so open to any response.  When I told my son how that baby was put in my stomach he asked "Did daddy know he did that to you?" and when I answered "Yes" holding in my laughter, he said ,"Ok" and then the conversation ended.  I was slightly tense waiting for the next question when he proceeded to talk about Pokémon.   

I want to grow up in a world where there is no shame in the creation of a baby.  I want to live in a world where people are free to love who they want to love. I want to teach children truth and let them ask the questions they need to ask.  In truth comes knowledge, with knowledge comes understanding, with understanding comes strength.  

Wishing everyone a beautiful weekend filled with truth, knowledge and maybe a little discomfort.