Changing views....

Last week we celebrated Purim at our school.  We dressed in costumes and paraded

around the school playground.  From there we went into our Sanctuary and our teachers acted out the story of Purim for the children.  Throughout the morning the laughter and joy was evident.  I felt the struggles of my life dissipate as I embraced the joy in my job and on our school campus.

Some weeks are harder than others.  This past week - for a variety of reasons outside of TBE - was particularly challenging for me.  But as I danced and laughed I realized no one would know that (hopefully!) from looking at me.  As I had this thought I looked around and wondered who else had a hard week?   Who else has life challenges happening at this very moment, yet from looking at them you would never know? 

 

We don't always know what is going on in people's lives and sometimes this is even true with people we think we know well.  We might see our friends, neighbors, coworkers smiling but this doesn't always tell the full story.  We might see someone and think thoughts about them based on their appearance and the fact that they have on their friendly, public face.   It’s only natural that we think “they are fine” when everything looks fine.  But the truth – we should know from our own inner experiences – is that there are often things going poorly, and we are all just very skilled at hiding our problems.

With our children, we teach them to recognize and respect their friend’s emotions.  We point out details in body language and in other people’s facial expressions so that children can learn to discern when a friend is not ready to play or share or be silly.  As we point out what might not be so easily evident, we begin to teach recognition of the emotions going on inside others.  We look for clues so we can react appropriately to our friends and classmates.  "Look at your friends shoulders, he is unhappy or uncomfortable, let's give him a hug or space," depending on the situation.

As adults, we should try to do the same for one another. Take stock of our friends and the adults in our lives.  Do they need us?  Are we there for them?   

To those that have personal challenges from the big to the small if you were not able to smile enough this week, we empathize and we wish you peace in your heart and life.   With all that may be going on in our lives, some of us may have lost our manners for a moment.  Let’s try our best to let go of judgement and do our best to be understanding. Let’s do what we can to fill each other’s lives with grace.  We encourage each of us to hold on to our manners in a world that may have lost its way in valuing a simple thank you, smile or a door hold.

When you are being a good friend or a “good person” in general, use the opportunity to narrate “why you are doing what you are doing” to your child. You are already their main role model.  Point out how you feel when you do good things for others and actually take that moment to embrace the good feelings and let your children be a part of that!