Am I learning?
This week a mom came to tour our preschool. She said her son was at another preschool and she didn't feel he was learning enough. I asked her "can you tell me more about that?" She said something about the pace at which they were learning letters and reading being too slow. This is a very common concern of parents, but my answer requires a bit of explanation. Yes, it is true that reading and writing are essential, but these should be only one, perhaps small part of how we asses a child's progress.
Do you know people who have built a happy life? Surrounded by family and friends, doing work that they are good at and enjoy? What skills helped them get there? Was it their reading level and their understanding of phonics at age 3 that pushed them along? I believe it is something else that sets the successful apart. I think that there is a group of learning skills that these people use in their everyday life that add a certain specialness to everything they do. If we had to group them all together and put it into one word, I think that word would be "attitude."
"Are they reading? at what level? What about their math? do they practice addition and subtraction yet? When will they start memorizing the times-table? In these areas of learning, we can evaluate progress on a very narrow basis - we simply test their skills.
As parents, it may feel gratifying that our children are "ahead of schedule." However, we should also understand that the precise age of when it is "best" to begin teaching these skills varies greatly by child, and also that it has been repeatedly demonstrated that children who start earlier do not necessarily benefit as compared to others who "catch up" later.
So how do we help a child develop great attitude - something which will help shape each and every day of their life? We do this with our attention and with specific positive feedback. We support and recognize trial and error, perseverance, reflection, empathy and compassion. When we see them complete a task we ask if there are a other options to completing the task, we encourage flexible thinking and ask, "How else can you build that, solve that, glue that, move that?" We value our children when they work independently and when they work something out with a friend. We notice when they keep at a task vs giving up. We notice kindness when children comfort each other and we notice when our children pick up trash and start to make choices not only in taking care of each other but in taking care of our world. When a child focuses intently on an idea, an art, a building, or any task - we recognize the value of their focus.
Tonight I am so grateful to be meeting a friend for dinner. Maintaining meaningful relationships can play an important role in health, happiness and longevity. As we help our children move through their day we encourage friendship because we know what this means in their life now, and in their future relationships. Friendship skills are complicated and play an important role in our lives. For example: when children fight and want to stop being friends, we take time to explore making-up skills. How to get past a disagreement and still keep an otherwise good relationship can be tricky! Sharing skills, negotiating skills, "not always getting your way" skills … learning and practicing these skills can make for a strong foundation for a happier, healthier life. I am looking forward to laughing tonight and to enjoying all the good feelings that come with friendship. This is what we want for our children.
I'm learning every day, just as I'm sure you are. It's still just as important for you and me as it is for the children that we find joy in learning. I am reading a good book and trying to remember the characters names (using a mnemonic device is helping me!),I am thinking of new ways to leave less of an environmental imprint in our world (using my own bags while shopping, using a reusable water bottle, using bamboo utensils and by using a metal straw). I am juggling my finances so I can save for retirement (ha!). I'm working towards a balance in my life and work schedule each week (triple ha!).
Some of the most useful skills that carry us through life are a result of the social skills in addition to our learning skills that we build as children. Our learning and our children's learning goes on forever, it is in everything we do, our mind takes in, reflects on and manipulates information each day. When a parent asks "Is my child learning?", the answer is complicated. We can't just look at the small component of letters, let's look beyond that to see the millions of ways our children are learning!
Do you know people who have built a happy life? Surrounded by family and friends, doing work that they are good at and enjoy? What skills helped them get there? Was it their reading level and their understanding of phonics at age 3 that pushed them along? I believe it is something else that sets the successful apart. I think that there is a group of learning skills that these people use in their everyday life that add a certain specialness to everything they do. If we had to group them all together and put it into one word, I think that word would be "attitude."
"Are they reading? at what level? What about their math? do they practice addition and subtraction yet? When will they start memorizing the times-table? In these areas of learning, we can evaluate progress on a very narrow basis - we simply test their skills.
As parents, it may feel gratifying that our children are "ahead of schedule." However, we should also understand that the precise age of when it is "best" to begin teaching these skills varies greatly by child, and also that it has been repeatedly demonstrated that children who start earlier do not necessarily benefit as compared to others who "catch up" later.
So how do we help a child develop great attitude - something which will help shape each and every day of their life? We do this with our attention and with specific positive feedback. We support and recognize trial and error, perseverance, reflection, empathy and compassion. When we see them complete a task we ask if there are a other options to completing the task, we encourage flexible thinking and ask, "How else can you build that, solve that, glue that, move that?" We value our children when they work independently and when they work something out with a friend. We notice when they keep at a task vs giving up. We notice kindness when children comfort each other and we notice when our children pick up trash and start to make choices not only in taking care of each other but in taking care of our world. When a child focuses intently on an idea, an art, a building, or any task - we recognize the value of their focus.
Tonight I am so grateful to be meeting a friend for dinner. Maintaining meaningful relationships can play an important role in health, happiness and longevity. As we help our children move through their day we encourage friendship because we know what this means in their life now, and in their future relationships. Friendship skills are complicated and play an important role in our lives. For example: when children fight and want to stop being friends, we take time to explore making-up skills. How to get past a disagreement and still keep an otherwise good relationship can be tricky! Sharing skills, negotiating skills, "not always getting your way" skills … learning and practicing these skills can make for a strong foundation for a happier, healthier life. I am looking forward to laughing tonight and to enjoying all the good feelings that come with friendship. This is what we want for our children.
I'm learning every day, just as I'm sure you are. It's still just as important for you and me as it is for the children that we find joy in learning. I am reading a good book and trying to remember the characters names (using a mnemonic device is helping me!),I am thinking of new ways to leave less of an environmental imprint in our world (using my own bags while shopping, using a reusable water bottle, using bamboo utensils and by using a metal straw). I am juggling my finances so I can save for retirement (ha!). I'm working towards a balance in my life and work schedule each week (triple ha!).
Some of the most useful skills that carry us through life are a result of the social skills in addition to our learning skills that we build as children. Our learning and our children's learning goes on forever, it is in everything we do, our mind takes in, reflects on and manipulates information each day. When a parent asks "Is my child learning?", the answer is complicated. We can't just look at the small component of letters, let's look beyond that to see the millions of ways our children are learning!
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