It's in the moments
I also wanted to focus on the positive. It would be easy to get caught up in the negative netting. We're all surrounded by both good and bad with our families and with our friends. If we repeat and dwell on the negative, this is what gets reinforced and remembered. If we stress the negative, we can get caught up in missing the many wonderful moments. And it is those moments where we can find joy in life.
So let me focus on the positive. Here are my top ten meaningful memories:
1. My trip began with a pretty big flight delay, yet my 60 something uncle picked me up at the airport around 1 AM with his smile and kindness as always.
2. My brothers and I shared a few good meals and we really laughed together. I love our laughter. The struggle is real!
3. My niece Sophie and I took a beautiful walk, and I listened to her and felt part of her life for the hour and a half we shared.
4. My parents, brothers, nephew and my uncle sat in the last row of Haverford School as we listened to the Yom Kippur service together. I was such a pleasure to sit together!
5. My dad and I took a walk and sat on a bench and breathed in the cool breeze that was beginning to set in for the cool months ahead.
6. My niece Sarah took me to a hot yoga class and I thought I was about to die. I really wanted to try it and her encouragement got me to try it. Once was enough!
7. I shared an amazing walk and a few meals with some long-time friends. We laughed and caught up and became part of each others lives again for just one day and night.
8. My family members stopped in and out for visits and I so enjoyed being with them and talking with them.
9. My nephew Eli always goes the extra mile to make sure he is there to visit with his cousin Sam. He is so there for us! Truly a rock star of human kindness.
10. My mother held my hand in the car as we drove to the airport. My mom does so much for me and it was one of those simple moments where I truly felt at peace.
I made the top ten list for myself for a couple of reasons. One was that I didn't want to just fall back on the regular, handy answer "It was good, thanks." Another was that I didn't want to fall into the trap of remembering the negatives. It's a common thing that most of us have as a habit, but for me it rings hollow and it's not healthy. It is easy to list all the things that went wrong, or complain about things that didn't go as well as they could have, but there were many wonderful moments and I wanted to be able to express that and remember that.
I'm sure that you know that memory is very malleable. We literally re-write and modify our memories every time we think of them, so focusing on and repeating the positive will have the effect of shaping your memories in a positive way. I wanted to focus on all that went well in the trip. I wanted to capture the simplicity and the beauty of the everyday moments, and make these my lasting memories. So … the top ten list!
This reminds me of a moment when a mom from my school said "My daughter comes home from school and often tells me the parts of her day that went wrong. How do I flip her script? she asked"
I love this question. So often the millions of simple everyday good moments are downplayed, and we allow the negatives to take precedence over the many wonderful. It is our own intention to see the good in our lives that allow us to "flip the script". For most of us, we have to work at it. If you want more joy in the journey, it takes practice!
Take inventory of what is going well in our life ... today, in this hour, in this moment. Make your own list and let it sink in to your heart and soul. Repeat it like a mantra. If our children need help in order to flip their script: make a list together, add pictures, make a poster, a story board, anything that allows them to recognize and appreciate all that is good in their lives.
Enjoy this beautiful day, take stock, take inventory... the moments are so quick we don't want to miss them!
Rolling Hill Park with my friend Jenny .... AMAZING
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