Welcome the stranger...
Recently we hosted an event at our temple to celebrate the holiday of Rosh Hashanah. We had an amazing turn out. The community was beautiful, alive, singing, decorating cards and making round challahs. Standing there looking at the group I felt a tremendous joy to be part of this astounding community.
At this event we partnered with an organization that sends gifts to Jewish children. There was a family at the event that is part of our Jewish Preschool but they are not Jewish. When they asked about the organization and what they do, I paused for a moment. I was uncomfortable. I did not think this family would be eligible for the program, as neither parent was Jewish. I could not find the words to try and explain this to these young parents.
First, let me say that I think this organization is amazing. They do a wonderful job in the community, supporting Judaism and all that the religion has to offer. Yet in this moment I had to hesitate, because I couldn't be sure: what would be their response to this situation? As an institution had they had this come up before? Did they have an agreed response?
If a family is part of a Jewish preschool, and they are attending a Rosh Hashana event and they are interested in Judaism, should they be able to participate in the program?
In the Torah we are commanded to take in the stranger, feed and clothe them. In other words, as Ethel Merman sang on Broadway long ago: we should strive to be "the hostess with the mostess."
Most organizations establish their own set of rules. Often there is a mission statement. The people within the organization try to follow the rules and fulfill the mission. As I study history it appears that rules regarding exclusivity within religious organizations have had tremendously negative results, often to the point of causing a "schism" - literally a splitting apart of their people. Hence we have created Reform Judaism, Reconstructionist, and now we have the Non affiliated Jew.
Within our organizations we want to hold on to our traditions, culture and customs. Some organizations might fear or resist change, but over time we have learned that change is a necessary part in keeping relevant in today's world. The world is changing at a faster and faster pace. If we want to remain relevant, we are obliged to respond. The answers we come up with may not change, but we always need to be having the conversation.
There are Talmudic laws that may apply to many of our questions. If we are questioning their relevance to our modern day situation, we have continued to embrace what these laws were created for. Are they not to guide us in our decisions and living values?
I ask myself questions related to my beliefs so that I can better fulfill these laws, not because they tell me to, but because I am always striving to be a good person and to be inclusive which is a message within these laws.
If a family comes in to our organization that identifies as "no religious affiliation", what do we offer them? Do we attempt to interest them in Judaism? How about if they have a new baby, do we offer them the opportunity for a bris or naming service? Is this kind, or is it offensive?
What about keeping Kosher? We have always kept Kosher, even though only about 2% of our population strictly follow the practice. How Kosher should we be, can we have a turkey sandwich and cheddar gold fish at lunch?
What should stay the same and what should we talk about changing?
How do we include and welcome more families into our community?
Just how exclusive do we want to be?
At this event we partnered with an organization that sends gifts to Jewish children. There was a family at the event that is part of our Jewish Preschool but they are not Jewish. When they asked about the organization and what they do, I paused for a moment. I was uncomfortable. I did not think this family would be eligible for the program, as neither parent was Jewish. I could not find the words to try and explain this to these young parents.
First, let me say that I think this organization is amazing. They do a wonderful job in the community, supporting Judaism and all that the religion has to offer. Yet in this moment I had to hesitate, because I couldn't be sure: what would be their response to this situation? As an institution had they had this come up before? Did they have an agreed response?
If a family is part of a Jewish preschool, and they are attending a Rosh Hashana event and they are interested in Judaism, should they be able to participate in the program?
In the Torah we are commanded to take in the stranger, feed and clothe them. In other words, as Ethel Merman sang on Broadway long ago: we should strive to be "the hostess with the mostess."
This moment made me think "is there more we should be doing to hold to this commitment?"
There is what sometimes feels like a built-in conflict we all face as Jews, as part of Jewish organizations: can we be inclusive and exclusive at the same time?
Most organizations establish their own set of rules. Often there is a mission statement. The people within the organization try to follow the rules and fulfill the mission. As I study history it appears that rules regarding exclusivity within religious organizations have had tremendously negative results, often to the point of causing a "schism" - literally a splitting apart of their people. Hence we have created Reform Judaism, Reconstructionist, and now we have the Non affiliated Jew.
Within our organizations we want to hold on to our traditions, culture and customs. Some organizations might fear or resist change, but over time we have learned that change is a necessary part in keeping relevant in today's world. The world is changing at a faster and faster pace. If we want to remain relevant, we are obliged to respond. The answers we come up with may not change, but we always need to be having the conversation.
There are Talmudic laws that may apply to many of our questions. If we are questioning their relevance to our modern day situation, we have continued to embrace what these laws were created for. Are they not to guide us in our decisions and living values?
I ask myself questions related to my beliefs so that I can better fulfill these laws, not because they tell me to, but because I am always striving to be a good person and to be inclusive which is a message within these laws.
If a family comes in to our organization that identifies as "no religious affiliation", what do we offer them? Do we attempt to interest them in Judaism? How about if they have a new baby, do we offer them the opportunity for a bris or naming service? Is this kind, or is it offensive?
What about keeping Kosher? We have always kept Kosher, even though only about 2% of our population strictly follow the practice. How Kosher should we be, can we have a turkey sandwich and cheddar gold fish at lunch?
What should stay the same and what should we talk about changing?
How do we include and welcome more families into our community?
Just how exclusive do we want to be?
What is it, exactly, that we gain from exclusivity?
I strive to be open and honest, treating everyone I come in contact with kindness. We welcome the stranger, the friend, the curious and the questioning. Personally, I want the same for our organization and our community. I certainly think it is a topic worthy of conversation.
L'shana Tovah
Dedicated to my daughter who teaches me the value of inclusivity every day...
Dedicated to my daughter who teaches me the value of inclusivity every day...
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