Empty playground.... check in with your heart...

Empty playground....

As much as I am sick of hearing about, reading about and thinking about this pandemic, I need to process this weeks thoughts, and it just can't happen without reference to our current situation.

Each of us deals with our life experiences in our own way.  Part of critical thinking is seeing other perspectives, views and angles.  As we move through our experiences it is important to remind ourselves that other people are having their own feelings and reactions - ones that we might not have even imagined.

Schools closing so abruptly, sheltering in our homes, markets being understocked on some important items, employment (and healthcare!) interruption or straight-out loss. For some of us, this has been a trauma. A frightening and severe loss.  We have been abruptly cut off from our community, our friends, our support, our entire social network.  In my situation, I keep reminding myself that this not only happened to our students, but to our co-workers and all of our families.

It reminds of when I fly (or used to fly. I wonder when that will become normal again).  The flight attendant gives you the instructions:  always put on your own oxygen mask before proceeding to assist your child.  Those instructions would always spark a thought. I understand it, I respect it, and I recognize the truth in it - but I have often wondered about how hard it would be to take care of myself while watching my child struggle.

We're not on a plane, but its a good analogy:  We must attend to our mental health and needs each day in order to take care of our children.  Look inward and make an assessment, then do what you need to do to take care of yourself.  Figure out what you need.  If you cant get there by yourself, ask for help.  Keep asking.

All of us would like to move through our day exhibiting kindness, compassion and thoughtfulness.  In order to do this, I'm suggesting we try to  begin each day by taking care of ourselves first.  What is reasonable in your home with your young children?  Can you walk for an hour even before they get up?  This may be impossible, but what is possible?

Share what you need with your children.  It might be five minutes of meditation or maybe you are fortunate enough to get that hour walk on your own.  Whatever it is, try to identify it and then  explain it to your child - and begin to take it.  Even if your child is a baby, they take in more information than you can possibly imagine.

It is important  to be honest with them.  "I am missing our morning routine, we used to go to school and you saw your friends and I saw some of my friends as well.  I am feeling sad about this.  I am going to listen to my favorite song before we start our day, this will help me cheer up."  At first your child may talk to you through the whole song, while you sit quietly taking deep breaths, but eventually they will either join you or find another way to entertain themselves.  In the long run you will be teaching them the value and importance of self care!
 
Our children often have different feelings than we do.  They may feel the loss harder or less depending on their personality and level of understanding.  Listen carefully and honor their feelings.  While you might be sad, they might be enjoying the slow mornings and the quiet at home or the play with their siblings.  Again each of us moves through life's experiences with our own feelings.  Learning to identify what we are feeling and then having strategies to manage those feelings is essential to paving the way to healthy living.  Together we have got this!

Some words I heard from parents this week expressing how this experience has made them feel:
Roller coaster, lonely, cheated, grateful, anxious, groundhog day, overwhelmed, appreciative, uncertain, nervous, unqualified, annoyed, sad.... what words resonate with you, or what would you add to this list?  Can you identify your feelings?  How does that feeling help you or hinder you in living a healthy life?  What can you do today to help yourself or help others?