Judment free zone

Each day I work hard to live in a judgement free state of mind like the children I am in camp with this summer.  They show me each day how they do this.  They fight and disagree and move on faster that my brain can sometimes take in.  I laugh with joy at their generosity and I have such gratitude for their ability to move on judgment free of their friends and classmates when these disputes occur. 

The other day I watched a child aim a hose at another child and soak him in his tee shirt and jeans while the child yelled stop. The child aiming the hose was not thinking about the other child, he was mostly thinking about the joy he was having.  His perspective was his own.  He was loving the hose, the water, the squirting, the splashing, he was in his own view. 

At times we forget about other perspectives.  We form opinions and judgements forgetting to pause and consider the view of others.  Some would have watched this experience and said, "That child was being unkind or mean."  We may rephrase and say, that child was not thinking about the other child's feelings in that moment.  How can we help him think and care for others as much as himself?  On the flip side we would be thinking about the child that was standing there yelling stop.  Why didn't he walk away, why didn't he fold the hose, why didn't he work to help himself?  As we ponder our role as educators, counselors and parents we need to look carefully and listen and then we to need to pause and ponder how to help the different perspectives and views that are in front of us while we remain judgement free. 

The child with the hose was being unkind, but in his mind he was just having fun.  This is not ok, don't misunderstand me or judge me, I only point out to be considerate of perspective.    I watched for a minute, and then I was uncomfortable so I waited another minute.  I was hoping the child getting soaked would walk away or stand up for himself.  I waited a little longer than I was uncomfortable with the play and then I stepped in.  I bent the hose so the water would stop.  I reminded the child to pause, and listen.  I said, "I heard Sam say STOP, when someone says stop we try hard to stop."  I encouraged him to listen to others and to squirt the hose somewhere or on someone that would enjoy it and then he proceeded to soak his brother who thoroughly enjoyed it.  Florida is very hot this time of the year!  I also comforted the child that was soaked.  Together we pondered his choices in the situation. While he at first immediately wanted to change his clothes he then reconsidered and took off his tee shirt and went back to playing with the other children and the hose. 

In a world filled with judgement today I wish everyone peace in their heart.  May we have time to pause and consider the other perspectives.  When I went for a walk one day and someone walked by me without a mask, closer than six feet I asked myself what are all the reasons they may have done this?  How many possibilities are there before I assume or judge this person?  

I will continue to observe, learn from and enjoy the children at play and at disagreement on our campus. On Friday as I walked the grounds  I saw a counselor braiding a child's hair, a camper running with a kite, a few children playing house on the playground and the list goes on.  Many campers stopped me to show me  or tell me something.  I was happy to hear them to see them and to be part of their summer. 

“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.”
― J. Krishnamurti