Building our emotional foundation one experience at a time....
"Do you want to go out to dinner?" a friend recently asked. She is less concerned about the virus than I am, so at first I couldn't answer her. By simply going out to dinner how much of a risk am I taking? Am I potentially infecting my family, my school community? Ugh, so complicated! And then there is also the constant drip of bad news.
Due to Covid we are tossing more plastic trash than ever before.
Due to Covid anxiety, isolation and feelings of depression are spiking.
Due to Covid ... well the list goes on. I can't help at times feeling a sense of despair and frustration. I want my life back to the way it was prior to Covid.
Lately we have been working on further developing observational techniques with staff. As always, our goal is to find the best ways to help our children develop a strong set of skills they will need to overcome challenges in their lives. As we observe them facing disappointments and frustrations they have in their school day - or at home, we as parents and teachers may feel the need to jump in, "fix things" and save them when things don't go their way. This does not help them.
Learning to handle what happens in their day on their own strengthens the foundation of their living skills. We teach the skills, but the more work they do on their own, the stronger their foundation will be. We become braver by participating in acts of bravery, we become able to handle challenges when we handle challenges, we become able to handle disappointment when we are disappointed and learn how to get past it.
When conflict occurs, our first instinct might be to immediately intervene. We need to tamp down that response, stand back and observe. Let the children try to resolve the situation among themselves. Sometimes the way they handle it is not the way we would handle it - and that is ok! We stand nearby, we listen, then we see if we are needed. Well trained, deep observation helps guide us in when and how we intervene and support our students. The past month's focus with staff has demonstrated once again that we still have a natural tendency to intercede too soon. Preschoolers are competent, smart, strong individuals! When we give them the space to handle conflict and disappointment they demonstrate amazing skills. They are natural born problem solvers! Trusting them and believing in them allows us to "back up" - and this in turn gives them the space to "step up" and show us their emotional strength! This is how they grow a strong sense of self.
When it rains and they are sad about missing playground time sometimes they look longingly out the window. Sometimes they cry, sometimes they whine, and sometimes they shrug it off. And sometimes they ask, "Can we play in the rain?" and sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. They are living and experiencing sadness, disappointment and how to be flexible.
Luckily for now, they don't seem to be sad about this pandemic. They are young enough to not be terribly affected by this situation. They come to school, play with their friends and go home. For the students that are not back in school yet I hope they are doing ok. I hope they are spending their days playing and learning until their parents feel it is safe for them to return to school. In the words of one Pre K student: " I love tee ball! I used to play but now we have Covid so I can't!" He said this very matter of fact. He was disappointed but he was ok. He handled it.
Take deep breaths, cry, be angry - however you do it, try to get back to that place of gratitude and find some joy in living.
In the end, we decided that my friend would come over and have dinner in my backyard. It was nice. I enjoyed her company. We found a solution that worked for both of us.
May you and your family stay healthy - and always be on the lookout for opportunities to be happy... and definitely play in the rain!
💞💞💞💞
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